<hr/>**评论：**<br/><br/>kronoschic: <pre><p>My ex would always put his arm around me when we walked anywhere. I thought it was sweet. He told me later it was just so he could make me walk faster. </p></pre>TheKnittyWit: <pre><p>That is a genius hack. I might have to start getting a lot friendlier with my friends when we walk together...</p></pre>Rummager: <pre><p>Bro why you holding my hand?</p></pre>runed_golem: <pre><p><em>stops holding hand</em></p>
<p>"Bitch, I didn't say stop!"</p></pre>shamanDON: <pre><blockquote>
<p>"Bro, I didn't say stop!"</p>
</blockquote>
<p>FTFY</p></pre>Sarahthelizard: <pre><blockquote>
<p>"Bitch, I didn't say stop!"</p>
</blockquote>
<p>brojob! brojob!</p></pre>Heliosvector: <pre><p>I wanna be more than bros,... bro.</p></pre>Sarahthelizard: <pre><p>Awww, this makes me cry harder than that swan thing. </p></pre>conandy: <pre><p>I had an ex who would get absolutely infuriated that I walked so much faster than him. Like he would just completely stop and refuse to move until I noticed he was gone 2 blocks later. Then I would have to walk all the way back to him before he would move again, after yelling at me in public. He was convinced I was making a conscious effort to belittle him for being short. I'm like 10 inches taller than him and he was super self-conscious about it. I would have tried that arm trick, but I always found it really obnoxious and rude when couples walk side by side on busy city sidewalks. </p></pre>Genocide_Me_Captain: <pre><p>Holy hell how tall are you</p></pre>conandy: <pre><p>6'3, also a guy. </p></pre>Genocide_Me_Captain: <pre><p>Ah! That makes sense. I was imagining a Amazon</p></pre>HugeAmountofDerp: <pre><p>It's 2017, guys can be amazons too </p></pre>theeace: <pre><p>I'm transamazon myself</p></pre>iampieman: <pre><p>I'm glad he's an ex!</p></pre>CatJBou: <pre><p>As a shorter person I've never taken my partner walking faster as belittling our height difference, just as not very considerate. He slows down for all of his friends, or his dad with bad knees. I'm not even a slow walker, he's the 1st SO I've had problems with, and I always date a foot taller than me.</p>
<p>The weird thing about the issue is that it's not even malicious, it's just that he lumped us together so much in his head that I think he forgets we're separate entities.</p></pre>IthePotato: <pre><p>And thats when he became your ex?</p></pre>FluffyTippy: <pre><p>That's when his arm became ex </p></pre>Its_Me_Your_Brother_: <pre><p>ex gon give it to ya </p></pre>CackinMaSpaffs: <pre><p>So call me maybe</p></pre>melvinismad: <pre><p>Mom's spaghetti</p></pre>GrimetownUSA: <pre><p><em>Barking intensifies</em></p></pre>kronoschic: <pre><p>Nah, I laughed when he told me that. I will freely admit I'm a slow walker. </p></pre>_daath: <pre><p>Only if she has no sense of humor.</p></pre>Grimalja: <pre><p>This is bf 101. Whenever you're out with your girl you hold her hand or place your arm around her, in a sweet way as to not raise suspicion that you're really just having her keep up with your pace and preventing her from stopping at any shops along the way. </p></pre>CatJBou: <pre><p>Doesn't work if you're a girl with a slow guy and he's bigger. Then you just end up looking like an eager terrier on an arm leash.</p></pre>louisturbo: <pre><p>I do that. She also walks really unstraight, so it fixes that problem as well.</p></pre>1ivetolearn: <pre><p>Have you tried using the holdhand spell? </p></pre>hhlim18: <pre><p>She counters with tantrum.</p></pre>tallandlanky: <pre><p>You also fucked up the dialogue options and they won't be available for several hours.</p></pre>hhlim18: <pre><p>Pay $xxx to restore dialogue options</p>
<p>Edit clarity</p></pre>Ampycus: <pre><p>She says she's not into porn. Lose a turn.</p></pre>SpectrumDiva: <pre><p>Aka "shopping"</p></pre>exonul: <pre><p>Life: Free to play, pay to win</p></pre>BenjiHeil: <pre><p>Which you have to spend five colorless or its activated every battle stage</p></pre>S3r3n1ty17: <pre><p>is this a MTG reference? If so I think it might be one of the first references I actually really get in one these little reddit comment episodes where people just keep adding on various little comments that usually just make me chuckle while being puzzled as to what <em>exactly</em> they mean. Please tell me its an MTG reference </p></pre>jc5504: <pre><p><em>Negate</em></p></pre>ThisIsAWolf: <pre><p>ahahahahaha</p></pre>KentuckyFriedCar: <pre><p>That just turns into "stop walking so fast, why are we in the car park already I wanted to look at that other shop"</p></pre>cleopad1: <pre><p>I mean my bf is a whole foot taller than me,so I'm sure it's not nonsense </p></pre>lipstickpizza: <pre><p>It works until she spots Anthropologie or Madewell. Then I know the next hour of our day is taken.</p></pre>cheechnfuxk: <pre><p>I didn't realize that I do this. I didn't realize that's why he firmly grabs my hand while we're on a walk sometimes.</p></pre>vegetablesamosas: <pre><p>Then this thread has been worth it</p></pre>nicther: <pre><p>Yeah I used that spell a lot back in the day when I was playing runescape. Remember in the Po'Caa dungeon when Lea uses fireball on Aleera. I would cast holdhand on Lea a lot and she would always follow me. Runescape was fun man I'm glad you mentioned this spell. Brought back memories </p></pre>Xacto01: <pre><p>Some escorted NPCs get stuck on other NPCs when you're not looking. </p></pre>CMDRDregg: <pre><p>Can confirm, i don't think its a bug though...</p></pre>Reddeadgamer: <pre><p>Happens a lot when your character doesn't have enough points in CHR. They really need to fix the dice roll distribution of skill points when creating new characters. </p></pre>dropoutscout: <pre><p><a href="/r/outside">r/outside</a> is leaking... and it's beautiful.</p></pre>perilous_cheryl: <pre><p>Not as beautiful as you. :)</p></pre>Pariahdog119: <pre><p><a href="/r/WholesomeMemes">r/WholesomeMemes</a> is leaking</p>
<p>or <a href="/r/CreepyPMs">r/CreepyPMs</a> I can't tell with this one</p></pre>JustHere4RedditPorn: <pre><p>Could be both bby ;)</p></pre>XPlatform: <pre><p>Yeah but CHR is a dump stat though.</p></pre>ESC907: <pre><p>Not if you play it right. Why else would games allow playthroughs without combat via speech options?</p></pre>lucidwalk: <pre><p>It also lets you do cheeky things, kind of <a href="https://i.imgur.com/otWqC2G.png">like this</a></p></pre>ExquisitExamplE: <pre><p>Alright that's hilarious. Do you have any other similar D&D links?</p></pre>Mr_OneHitWonder: <pre><p><a href="/r/DnDGreentext">/r/DnDGreentext</a> </p></pre>Jethr0Paladin: <pre><p>I love you. </p></pre>the_fuego: <pre><p>Looking at you Fallout 4! You said it was impossible but some tryhard did it regardless</p></pre>Adamawesome4: <pre><blockquote>
<p>tryhard</p>
</blockquote>
<p>challenge accepted</p></pre>UNLUCK3: <pre><p>Link?</p></pre>ThePorcupineWizard: <pre><p>Aka the best way.</p></pre>Chetey: <pre><p><a href="/r/outside">/r/outside</a> is leaking again</p></pre>Jacen47: <pre><p>It's the main stat you have to have to be a world leader these days.</p></pre>joe4553: <pre><p>When NPCs are more interesting than you. </p></pre>mrskwrl: <pre><p>-uninstall-</p></pre>Octopiece: <pre><p>Literally unplayable.</p></pre>gfp34: <pre><p><a href="/r/outside">/r/outside</a></p></pre>that_not_so_arab_kid: <pre><p>I think I just found my new favorite subreddit</p></pre>TheSleepiestWarrior: <pre><p>Who hurt you</p></pre>guacamully: <pre><p>I'm gonna guess an NPC</p></pre>Smashbruh_meeseeks: <pre><p>Um....i think your gf is just cheating on you bro. </p></pre>Sietemadrid: <pre><p>Thank you, Mr. Meseeks.</p></pre>FoCoOneGuy: <pre><p>I'm Mr. Meseeks look at me. We have to focus on his follow through!!! And by follow through I mean kill her!!!</p></pre>samm1t: <pre><p>Wait, so your girlfriend is an escort, or you are?</p></pre>AMSENG: <pre><p>Male gigolo. </p></pre>Orngog: <pre><p>Not like those <em>female</em> gigolos you get. </p>
<p>You know, gigolettes. </p></pre>scrubli3k: <pre><p>Not to be confused with juggalettes, the clown ladies who like ICP.</p></pre>1shmeckle: <pre><p>And meth. They really like meth.</p></pre>I_Xertz_Tittynopes: <pre><p>Washing down meth with some Faygo. One of my favourite pastimes.</p></pre>KP59: <pre><p>Faygo is actually pretty good though. It's like Jones soda for poor people.</p></pre>guacamully: <pre><p>Not like those Rob Schneiders you get.</p>
<p>You know, <em>staplers.</em></p></pre>ItsJustJoss: <pre><p>Derrrrp!</p></pre>uraffululz: <pre><p>All about that neden</p></pre>phero_constructs: <pre><p>Rob, is it you?</p></pre>Arc-arsenal: <pre><p>Robs not a gigolo anymore he's a stapler now. </p></pre>morla74: <pre><p>You don't have to be a prostitute </p></pre>hospitalvespers: <pre><p>You can say no to being a night looker; boy hooker; rent boy; bro ho. </p></pre>Kebble: <pre><p>>comment made 5 hours ago</p>
<p>>top comment</p>
<p>>nobody replied "Yes."</p>
<p>what has reddit become??</p></pre>Pro_Scrub: <pre><p>Yes.</p></pre>DEEEPFREEZE: <pre><p>My man!</p></pre>CoolStoryMoe: <pre><p>Yeah, I hate that glitch where she won't come out of the shoe store and you have to spend gold to get her out. </p></pre>culesamericano: <pre><p>Where do you find this NPC in the first place, I'm already level 23 and have unlocked all areas</p></pre>sageadam: <pre><p>I'm at level 25 and I think I messed up earlier on. Guess I'll have to restart the game...</p></pre>wildcard1992: <pre><p>Nah, you're on a different skill tree. Just keep grinding, by level 40 you'll be a wizard</p></pre>norsethunders: <pre><p>Honestly the entire experience system is completely fucked. You can grind your ass off doing a bunch of high level quests, get a bunch of powerful gear, and even perform better than higher level players but you won't be able to level yourself more than once a year. On the flip side some players can do absolutely nothing and still level up at the same rate. I really hope this gets addressed in the next patch.</p></pre>wildcard1992: <pre><p>It's more about item and skill acquisition than leveling up IMO. I wouldn't want to have a level 50 character without any gear. </p>
<p>Plus once you get past a certain level, your character starts to lose max HP at a gradual rate, I heard it results in permadeath. </p></pre>Anomalous-Entity: <pre><p>Hahaha... Then end the game, pal. Because the vast majority of level 50 players have nothing much more than level 20 alts to their name. </p>
<p>The guy on the box cover with all the cool gear and gold? Yea, that's from getting twinked.</p></pre>FordEngineerman: <pre><p>Yeah but you have to think of it like pokemon. A level 100 that just used rare candies to get there is a lot weaker than one who earned all the Effort Values along the way and has the stats to go with it.</p></pre>XPlatform: <pre><p>They put in permadeath though</p></pre>Ampycus: <pre><p>You don't unlock the "Rent a car" area til 25. Keep grinding.</p></pre>culesamericano: <pre><p>Actually it's a hidden option but you have to do some additional microtransactions. </p></pre>Blazeit420mlgnoscope: <pre><p>FYI, if you are male, your prefrontal cortex probably hasn't even fully developed yet. You aren't even the person you are going to be yet. I changed so much from 23-28 it'd blow your mind.</p></pre>yoriyo: <pre><p>I'd advice you to level up your speech skill. Will save you lots of coin. </p></pre>PM-ME-YOUR-SHOULDER: <pre><p>Intimidation is easier though.</p></pre>Ultravioletpig: <pre><p>Hand combat is also recommended if intimidation RNG fails</p></pre>SmokeAbeer: <pre><p>I'm on like my 10th gf because I lose track of them and they die.</p></pre>JediGuy24: <pre><p><a href="/r/nocontext">/r/nocontext</a></p></pre>guacamully: <pre><p>because of the implication?</p></pre>rnbwmstr: <pre><p>No, see they're not in any REAL danger...I don't think you're getting this</p></pre>quitethequietdomino: <pre><p>You had me going for the first part, but the second part kinda threw me</p></pre>Haiirokuma: <pre><p>That might alert the guards and you'll have to stay in jail for sometime though. Also some of your stats will be permanently damaged, just like your bum.</p></pre>apennyfornonsense: <pre><p>And they confiscate your stolen goods. Don't forget that.</p></pre>mirandamm: <pre><p>Nah you need charisma</p></pre>atoyot86: <pre><blockquote>
<p>Will save you lots of coin. </p>
</blockquote>
<p><em>Khajiit has wares if you have coin.</em></p></pre>Reposted4Karma: <pre><p><a href="/r/outside" rel="nofollow">r/outside</a></p></pre>Hexidian: <pre><p><a href="/r/outside">/r/outside</a></p></pre>emken: <pre><p>aka the whole darn thread</p></pre>Kaellian: <pre><p>Mine won't even spawn.</p></pre>eddieredeye: <pre><p>And she aggros all the local wildlife...</p></pre>Vague_Discomfort: <pre><p>Are you escorting a Disney princess?</p></pre>thespicylemon: <pre><p>You're not?</p></pre>Vague_Discomfort: <pre><p>Nah, I've got a beautiful witch. She's magical.</p></pre>IntroSpeccy: <pre><p>Double same</p></pre>Darkhiro7: <pre><p>We need a club</p></pre>MapHazard: <pre><p>Same</p></pre>Superkroot: <pre><p>No, hes talking about how women attract bears. </p></pre>LonePaladin: <pre><p>There's an old Diablo-like game called Sacred. 90% side quests. Some of the escort missions require you to lead one or more NPCs through areasfull of monsters. That's when you get the fun of nursing these unarmed level-1 people, because they love to run up to orcs and demons and start kicking their shins. Or just standing there like they're saying "Take my picture!"</p>
<p>On the flip side, any NPC who's vital to the plot is truly immortal, and you can exploit this.</p></pre>Confusticated1: <pre><p>Try Fast Travel or invest in some portal scrolls.</p></pre>AMSENG: <pre><p><a href="/r/outside">/r/outside</a> </p></pre>LittleDeadBrain: <pre><blockquote>
<p>walking anywhere</p>
<p>gf</p>
</blockquote>
<p>nah..</p></pre>Needtoreup: <pre><blockquote>
<p>gf</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Nah...</p></pre>MortalSisyphus: <pre><blockquote>
<p>complaining about being single in 99% of threads</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Reddit...</p></pre>badRLplayer: <pre><p>Maybe your the NPC showing the way that she will follow eventually, but wants to stop for more loot along the journey. </p></pre>thesuper88: <pre><p>Oh shit. Are we all NPCs? Are we all Player Characters? </p>
<p>Is this just the free will predestination argument? </p>
<p>Yes to all. </p></pre>fokye: <pre><p><em>Dragons dogma flashbacks intensify</em></p></pre>free_candy_4_real: <pre><p>And then after a while and a lot of frustration you just let her get killed and move on to the next quest ammiright?</p></pre>AMSENG: <pre><p>Those are called intrusive thoughts brother. </p></pre>Gigibop: <pre><p>Try popping some Mentats and increasing the number of companion slots</p></pre>agodlesspriest: <pre><p>They don't have to just be thoughts, sister. Don't let your dreams be dreams. Make those intrusive thoughts an intrusive reality. </p></pre>squintina: <pre><p>Admit it, you weren't paying attention and you let her get killed by spiders.</p></pre>Mackinstyle: <pre><p>I have a 3 month old now. And I realised about a month in that it's basically an 18 year long escort quest. My job for the first year or so is just to keep it alive. Then after that my job is to keep it from killing itself.</p></pre>maegris: <pre><p>I cannot for the life of me find the link right now, but there was a post some years ago that walked through the stages of your child as in relation to an game. In the first months its a item to be carried, then it turns into a escort mission, etc. I am not nearly eliquent enough to be able to repeat it well though.</p>
<p>I'll update if/when I find it,</p></pre>EnderofGames: <pre><p>To Paraphrase James Ryan Heywood: "Having a toddler is like playing a co-op fps. Sometimes your teammate falls over and starts spazing out. You just walk over and touch them, then they get up like nothing ever happened." </p></pre>crunchymunchys: <pre><p>I find if you ignore their stops they will teleport to your general area in a few seconds or so. Although i did have one NPC disappear for a year or two till i found them stuck in a dialogue menu.</p></pre>_x_Deadpool_x_: <pre><p>HOLY SHIT!
I just realized that perfectly describes walking with my youngest, she is 9 and is diagnosed and very noticeably ADHD. Walking any where with her is very much like a Escort Mission</p></pre>neofang101: <pre><p>My nephew who to my knowledge doesn't have anything like ADHD, but is just a really spoiled brat who rages at the dumbest things, at the littlest thing possible, and goes full-on hulk rage fuming. </p>
<p>It's not my thing to talk smack but that kid's got some anger issues. I had to babysit once or twice and it was a nightmare, probably one of the worst escort missions I've ever done.</p></pre>ThatDudeShadowK: <pre><p>You were an escort for your nephew? </p></pre>i_have_an_account: <pre><p>Apparently OP's girlfriend is a 9 year old with ADHD.</p></pre>hhlim18: <pre><p>That makes OP a pedo bear</p></pre>The_Nap_Taker: <pre><p>Or a 9 year old</p></pre>iNeverbreak: <pre><p>It <em>is</em> summer reddit after all... </p></pre>mrwizard420: <pre><p>Always remember that she's your Player 2, not an NPC.</p></pre>crashdaddy: <pre><p>That's inspiring! Are you a gamer marriage counselor? </p></pre>uraffululz: <pre><p>She is sworn to carry his burden</p></pre>ItsMEMusic: <pre><p>All he wants is a warm bed and a belly full of mead. </p></pre>a_spicy_memeball: <pre><p>Til she gets whacked by a giant's club and ends up six zip codes away. </p></pre>thatwasntveryraven: <pre><p>You gotta let her be Player 1 sometimes. Trust me. </p></pre>nephallux: <pre><p>Player 2 in the streets Player 1 in the sheets</p></pre>AMSENG: <pre><p>Of course she's my player 2, we are both gamers. </p></pre>bgad84: <pre><p>So does she play you?</p></pre>000040000: <pre><p>Aaaaaand welcome to summer Reddit. </p></pre>DRUNKHIGHHORNYORMAD: <pre><p>Oh that's what I'm seeing</p></pre>protanoa1: <pre><p>Yeah, cause it's not like this at all during the rest of the year...</p></pre>Markiep52: <pre><p>Is friendly fire on?</p></pre>Welcome_Reddit: <pre><p>That sounds like a nice pickup line: "Will you be my Player 2?"</p></pre>transfixedonwhy: <pre><p>Yeah, you should definitely use that.</p></pre>MibitGoHan: <pre><p>HELP. I used this pickup line and now I'm drowning in pussy. What do I do?</p></pre>ExplosiveWombat: <pre><p>Leave the crazy cat lady's house.</p></pre>itsmiir: <pre><p>dang
that's deep</p></pre>LoneAxeMurderer: <pre><p>Co-op games are overrated anyways</p></pre>Math_Blaster_: <pre><p>Using the madcatz controller</p></pre>ddoradoradora: <pre><p>wow...hit me right in the feels</p></pre>usmc_delete: <pre><p>If you level up your NPC to wife status, she usually finds her way back to you, somehow. </p></pre>monkeyfullofbarrels: <pre><p>Wait til you have kids.</p>
<p>It's like escort mission with bad AI.</p></pre>GhostOfGamersPast: <pre><p>They do tend to walk into walls a lot...</p></pre>GlyphedArchitect: <pre><p>And then sometimes some random enemies spawn and attack her, and you have to jump in with the heroics?</p></pre>Funnybunnyofdoom: <pre><p>Maybe you are in a simulation</p>
<p>My man!</p></pre>bigedthebad: <pre><p>My wife is 4' 11" and I'm 6' 6".</p>
<p>That has been my life for the last 42 years.</p></pre>zipperNYC: <pre><p>I just had a shower thought to your shower thought. What if... what if she's the player character and you're the main quest npc? So she does side quests along the way to get to you? </p></pre>VimesNightOff: <pre><p>Bruh, why do you think we invented hand holding?</p></pre>HerpaDerpaShmerpadin: <pre><p>To prevent suicidal toddlers from going on a Great Journey.</p></pre>wildcard1992: <pre><p>Works both ways</p></pre>goingtogetridof: <pre><p>Oh my I thought I was the only girl that did this... thank you to all you wonderful people who wait patiently or go back for your partners...</p></pre>Gankis: <pre><p>You gotta go back! Not going back could be costly. Going "Yeah sure Hun, lets go!" Usually means you just gave your approval on buying whatever she was looking at! </p></pre>Borisdunks: <pre><p>Don't forget about not letting the thirst or bathroom bars reach zero.</p></pre>dgsprb: <pre><p>Until you realize that YOU're the NPC!</p></pre>zestaytaco: <pre><p>Mines a drunk npc. Left her in the water at the beach to find her kids. And she's rolling face down in the waves in 20 seconds... fml</p></pre>TheNotSoGreatPumpkin: <pre><p>That sounds vaguely... concerning. </p></pre>ginguse_con: <pre><p>You had me at vaguely, subparpumpkin!</p></pre>jrfnavarro: <pre><p>This is why I love the Witcher 3. They fixed this issue </p></pre>panthersfan12: <pre><p>My GF is like the Witcher 3! I'm always trying to walk next to her, but no matter how fast I walk, she's always a little bit ahead of me. It's like the opposite of OP's problem.</p></pre>kittensnatcher: <pre><p>Did you try stealth sniping her and turning in the quest anyway? </p></pre>Hexidian: <pre><p><a href="/r/outside">/r/outside</a></p></pre>Flandersmcj: <pre><p>It's like in FFXV when <a href="/s" title="Iggie loses his eyesight and starts walking really slow, and fucking Gladio won't shut up about it even though the game controls aren't really built to let you go that slow.">Spoiler</a></p></pre>CaptainChuko: <pre><p>I just put her in a cart and push her around. </p></pre>Jtjduv: <pre><p>TIL I'm the NPC of my relationship.</p></pre>afraidofyall: <pre><p>I'm genuinely curious here, not trying to be mean or anything. I just started seeing a guy, and it's really weird that this happens. We're not at the handholding stage. But he just bolts away and stops at a distance to wait for me. I try to keep up, but it's tiring after a while because he's really fast. I can't tell if this is a conscious attempt to get it over with, or a subconscious habit of walking fast. I can't talk to him when this happens because, well, he's a distance away.
Of course, I'll let him one day that this annoys me, but it just sort of bugs me that after a few dates, it doesn't occur to him that he can't talk to me when we walk at our own paces.
Unrelatedly speaking, my friend's husband does this to her too, and it just boggles my mind.</p></pre>nucksboy: <pre><p>Is he tall?</p>
<p>All of us tall guys do this accidentally </p>
<p>Plus a lot of men walk with a mission, rather than just strolling</p></pre>consort_oflady_vader: <pre><p>Used to date a girl that was about 5'10. I'm 6'2. She'd still dawdle! I never understood it. But yes, when I'm going somewhere, I'm going for a reason. I have zero interest in looking at the same boring buildings I see everyday. </p></pre>ExplosiveWombat: <pre><p>Sounds like he has long legs.</p>
<p>As a long-legged guy, our strides are really long. Normal walking speed is a lot faster for someone with long legs, and it often leads to subconscious instances like this. </p>
<p>It's not that we mean to do it, but it's genuinely challenging to adjust your normal walking speed to accommodate. </p></pre>
