LPT: If you use a bat for home defense put a sock on it in case the intruder grabs your bat.

polaris · · 4668 次点击    
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<hr/>**评论:**<br/><br/>BeeFilledPinata: <pre><p>Tried this.<br/> Sock keeps getting snagged on the nails.</p></pre>FriedEggg: <pre><p>Yeah, how do you get it around barbed wire?</p></pre>mrboomx: <pre><p>Lucille is thirsty</p></pre>Alturrang: <pre><p>She&#39;s a vampire bat! </p></pre>rhinguin: <pre><p><em>leans back</em></p></pre>ThouArtMortal: <pre><p>I will shut that shit down, no exceptions!</p></pre>TheGreatBootyBible: <pre><p><a href="/r/unexpectedthewalkingdead" rel="nofollow">r/unexpectedthewalkingdead</a></p></pre>prosorth: <pre><p>You are the most Negan person in here.</p></pre>mistahcrz: <pre><p>WE are Negan</p></pre>Varicoserally: <pre><p>I just pull up my pants</p></pre>submofo2: <pre><p>I used cyanide as lubricant.</p></pre>kindiana: <pre><p>Put a used condom on it so when it&#39;s grabbed the robber says &#34;ewwww nasssty&#34;</p></pre>agree2cookies: <pre><p>Bonus points if the used condom has a previous burglar&#39;s anal juices on it.</p></pre>MexicanRedditor: <pre><p>Mick Foley... Is that you? </p></pre>leliik: <pre><p>I&#39;ve probably played Fallout too much, but I&#39;ve always wanted a baseball bat with nails. </p></pre>KetamineKastle: <pre><p>That doesn&#39;t actually work. You just wind up splitting your bat.</p></pre>Lead_Salad_Shooter: <pre><p>Pilot holes, bitch.</p></pre>agree2cookies: <pre><p>That&#39;s what Harrison Ford calls golf.</p></pre>jremsky: <pre><p>Never tell me the odds</p></pre>horror_unfolds: <pre><p>Use a counter-sink, put a little gorilla glue in the hole and then tap the nails in. </p></pre>LeHiggin: <pre><p>Aluminium bat?</p></pre>leliik: <pre><p>Alas. For the best, probably. I think I&#39;d probably just end up accidentally hurting myself. <em>uncoordinated</em> Though what if I drilled holes first, and then put nails in?</p></pre>Kronos6948: <pre><p>Any time you&#39;re nailing into wood with large nails, you would want to drill pilot holes. You drill holes smaller than the nail, but you&#39;re removing enough material so that you don&#39;t force the wood to split when you&#39;re nailing it. </p></pre>craignons: <pre><p>that&#39;s the point though isn&#39;t it?</p> <p>intruder tries to hold bat, grabs sock, you ram the sharp end into him and stab the shit outta him?</p></pre>Einsteins_coffee_mug: <pre><p>Ohh, <em>there&#39;s</em> my problem, my bat is a <a href="/r/mallninjashit">/r/mallninjashit</a> katana!</p></pre>eyy093uvtn3igj304: <pre><p>I don&#39;t think you have to worry about the Demogorgon grabbing the bat, though.</p></pre>b9ntt: <pre><p>You&#39;ve godda pound the nails through after you put the sock on. </p></pre>McBlemmen: <pre><p>I never considered that barbed wire &amp; nails serve a double purpose, i always thought they were just for extra damage but i guess keeping the enemy from grabbing the bat is just as good.</p></pre>EvilMortyC137: <pre><p>a baseball bat is a better home defense weapon without nails on it. Nails in a bat is better as a murder weapon than defense. </p></pre>HapticSloughton: <pre><p>But when it slips out of the sock, the intruder will have the bat and I&#39;ll just be holding a sock.</p></pre>sal_mugga: <pre><p>Best comment of the day and I just woke up</p></pre>abacinatedPriest: <pre><p>Haha hey, good morning</p></pre>bankholdup5: <pre><p>I don&#39;t get it. Would OP have to be an idiot for this joke to work? Is that the joke here? Serious question </p></pre>UnemployedBrat: <pre><p>They mean putting the sock on the &#39;handle&#39;</p></pre>bankholdup5: <pre><p>Haha okay, now I get it. That is funny, thank you. </p></pre>nucumber: <pre><p>more dumb than funny but yeah funny because so dumb</p></pre>sal_mugga: <pre><p>Yes</p></pre>KitMencha: <pre><p>This is exactly why I wonder &#34;why is Reddit free?&#34; Well fucking done. </p></pre>d3vourm3nt: <pre><p>You know literally yesterday I was wishing there was some website like reddit that required you to pay like... $1 to join, just to prevent spammers and troll accounts.</p></pre>Cyrver: <pre><p>Time to found creddit !</p></pre>Doctor-Amazing: <pre><p>This would be the Something Awful forums. $10 to get in and really easy to get banned if you&#39;re a shit poster.</p></pre>Infra-Oh: <pre><p>Is it a nice sock?</p></pre>SpiderHuman: <pre><p><a href="http://images.bigcartel.com/product_images/153231079/Bat.jpg?auto=format&amp;fit=max&amp;h=1000&amp;w=1000">Instructions unclear.</a></p></pre>Hadntreddit: <pre><p>If I were an intruder and saw that I&#39;d probably just let the guy rob me instead.</p></pre>cupster3006: <pre><p>Outcome. Acceptable.</p></pre>Dubwarlock: <pre><p>Unexpected Abathur. </p></pre>ClassicRick: <pre><p>Understandable - have a great day </p></pre>onemany: <pre><p>Also put KY jelly all over the bat in case the intruder is attractive and willing. </p> <p>Also if the intruder is not attractive and willing put a gun I side the bat. </p></pre>sfspaulding: <pre><p>Bat gun made me think of this family guy bit. </p> <p><a href="https://youtu.be/ROkg_4_UxrQ">https://youtu.be/ROkg_4_UxrQ</a></p></pre>bawse1: <pre><p>Imaging the sock on the bat will confuse the intruder long enough to knock him out rather than them grabbing the bat and pulling the sock off.</p></pre>TheAetherkings: <pre><p>Especially if the sock is actually a sock puppet on the end of a stick </p></pre>OldSchoolNewRules: <pre><p>Today&#39;s home defense is brought to you by the letter B.</p></pre>turn0: <pre><p>B. beeeeeeeeeeeee. Bat. B!</p></pre>ThePowerOfFarts: <pre><p>If you <em>really</em> want to mess with them use a cum sock.</p></pre>David_Bowiesson: <pre><p>But then the intruder will have a stiff object to bash you with ;)</p></pre>rainman206: <pre><p>I&#39;ll have a stiff object too!</p></pre>710isthenew420: <pre><p>Sword fight!</p></pre>_StatesTheObvious: <pre><p>Bash them with it! </p></pre>shoot_at_the_moon: <pre><p>It&#39;s only 10:47 and I&#39;m already done with Reddit for the day </p></pre>DLXII: <pre><p>n a s t y</p></pre>Wdeflect: <pre><p>If you&#39;re someone who has a cum sock you might as well just use your piss bottles as projectiles instead. Long range missile defense system.</p></pre>vetch222: <pre><p>Jarate </p></pre>EtOHMartini: <pre><p>long range defense consists of the brown missiles. </p></pre>ClassicRick: <pre><p>Normie intruder out REEEEEEEEEEE</p></pre>Jr_AntiSex_League: <pre><p>Sticky side out!</p></pre>MannishManMinotaur: <pre><p>I&#39;m completely rethinking this whole &#34;Sticky Bandits&#34; thing.</p></pre>do-u-dodooAHHHH: <pre><p>I store mine in a box</p></pre>SgtCheeseNOLS: <pre><p>I put mine on a 3M hook placed just above the computer monitor.</p></pre>Lefthandedmidget: <pre><p>&#34;Hey - can you hold on for a second, I just need to finish jerking it....aaaaaand alright. Now you can break in.</p></pre>CyanideIX: <pre><p>But wouldn&#39;t that stick to the bat and end up just giving the intruder more grip?</p></pre>deadliestwarrior: <pre><p>But when it slips out, the intruder will have the bat, and I&#39;ll just be holding a cum sock </p></pre>Doorslammerino: <pre><p>I would, but it keeps flying off and screeching every time I grab it...</p></pre>Reptar450: <pre><p>Better LPT. Instead of a sock, used barbed wire.</p></pre>givesomefucks: <pre><p>unless you live in a mansion a baseball bat is useless, think about it. stand somewhere in your house and see if you can take a full swing. probably only a few places that can happen, now imagine youre not just trying to swing, you&#39;re trying to swing and hit someone.</p> <p>real talk, if you can&#39;t get a gun get a knife. a big fucking scary knife. not the tactical black blade pocket knife shit, get something big and shiny. most people can rush you and take a hit or two from a bat. virtually no one is charging you when you have a big ass knife.</p> <p>if you&#39;re too squeamish for a knife, get a hammer. it probably wont intimidate a robber, but a baseball bat would just piss them off if you hit them, a hammer cant be blocked as easily, if they try to block with their forearm or hand you just broke their arm/hand.</p> <p>if you&#39;re average size or smaller, just get a tazer. the type of people who break in and dont run when someone is home can probably kick the shit out of you. even if you&#39;re a big weight lifter, the goal is to out crazy the intruder and make them run. scream like you&#39;re william wallace, shit take it a step farther and scream like you&#39;re real life mel gibson.</p> <p>in case you&#39;re ever in a situation where a bat is all you have, dont swing it like you&#39;re hitting a baseball. put the grip end in your dominate palm (so the bat is inline with your forearm) and use your non-dominate hand to steady it about half way down.</p> <p>basically use it like a spear instead of swinging. if your lucky you&#39;ll get a shot to their face. if they try to block you&#39;ve at least got a chance of glancing through their hands and getting them in the face.</p> <p>side note: your door is most likely not secure, it doesnt matter how many locks you have if the door frame is 30 years old and already split. it&#39;s a bitch to fix, but if you really care about home security you need a metal frame or else anyone can kick it in. even then they can just break a window to get in. no matter what you do it will only take someone a couple minutes to get in if they want to.</p></pre>One_Left_Shoe: <pre><blockquote> <p>basically use it like a spear</p> </blockquote> <p>Maybe I should just use a spear instead of a bat. Putting a big, shiny, blade at the end of a long stick that if swung won&#39;t do much, but it puts distance between me and an intruder. Also, &#34;man fends off intruder with spear&#34; would make for a great headline.</p></pre>Thin_Foil_Hat: <pre><p>I actually have a spear that I intend to use for home defence if I have to</p> <p><a href="http://www.coldsteel-uk.com/store/Boar-Spear.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.coldsteel-uk.com/store/Boar-Spear.html</a></p></pre>hoboturtles: <pre><p>If they broke into my house and they aren&#39;t deterred by me being home then I&#39;m just going to kill them not try to scare them off. If they try to leave, then I&#39;ll allow them to run, I don&#39;t see why anyone would find that unreasonable. If you don&#39;t want to die then don&#39;t break into homes and fight the residents.</p></pre>givesomefucks: <pre><blockquote> <p>then I&#39;m just going to kill them not try to scare them off</p> </blockquote> <p>we&#39;re talking about people who have a baseball bat for self defense, obviously a gun is better and changes everything.</p> <p>if you dont have a gun and you&#39;re trying to attack and kill an intruder you&#39;re an idiot, that person just broke into your house, you have no idea if they are armed or not.</p> <p>it doesnt matter how big/bad you are, getting stabbed/shot can kill you. in every single situation, the homeowner is better off if the robber just runs away than getting in a physical fight.</p> <p>i&#39;m a big guy, i&#39;ve fought off 3 muggers at the same time when i was young and dumb. that shit is stupid, anyone of them could have had a knife and stabbed me and i would have died that night.</p> <p>fighting is the absolute last resort, you&#39;re life is more important than your shit. for fucks sake, who doesnt even have insurance? it&#39;s a hassle, but i&#39;ll rebuy my stuff any day over dying </p></pre>Sinai: <pre><p>I&#39;m from Texas. What the rest of the world calls mansions, we just call houses.</p> <p>Then again, it&#39;s Texas, so I have a shotgun and two pistols on hand. But it&#39;s not like they&#39;re loaded, that would be dumb because I have house parties and I&#39;m not always 100% on stowing them in the safe before anyone comes over and I can just see the headlines, &#34;Texas man shot by angry girlfriend in fit of rage during house party&#34;</p> <p>So it&#39;s entirely possible a bat might be the best choice in a sticky situation.</p></pre>Hypersapien: <pre><p>Everything is bigger in Texas.</p> <p>Except for the one thing they wish was bigger. That&#39;s why they make everything else bigger.</p></pre>jeegte12: <pre><p>you&#39;re saying that texans have small penises?</p></pre>EtOHMartini: <pre><blockquote> <p>I&#39;m from Texas. What the rest of the world calls <del>mansions</del> trailers, we just call houses.</p> </blockquote></pre>Techwood111: <pre><p>You&#39;ve got it all wrong. In Texas, their trailers are all double-wides.</p></pre>rocked_licker: <pre><p>I&#39;ll just live in an area where I don&#39;t even need to lock my house while I&#39;m not home...probably because ALL of the red necks here have concealed carry permits and very full gun cabinets. Thankfully I don&#39;t have to live in fear. </p></pre>BuboTitan: <pre><blockquote> <p>unless you live in a mansion a baseball bat is useless, think about it. stand somewhere in your house and see if you can take a full swing</p> </blockquote> <p>A baseball bat is better for taking care of someone outside in your yard.</p></pre>darcy_clay: <pre><p>I have a child&#39;s size baseball bat. I think I can swing it around here.</p></pre>subtyler: <pre><p>I just lube up my bat every night before bed. </p></pre>ScornedSquirrel: <pre><p>Yeah, that makes it easier to stick up your butt, too.</p></pre>NinjaChemist: <pre><p>( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)</p></pre>_marther_: <pre><p>Boof that shit</p></pre>dirkgent: <pre><p>This is the correct answer.</p></pre>mayhem521: <pre><p>Barbed wire is better</p></pre>garbledwarbler: <pre><p>LPT: use a gun, cause they might.</p></pre>IBetThisIsTakenToo: <pre><p>LPT: Put a sock over the end of your shotgun barrel, in case the intruder tries to grab it. </p></pre>CptAustus: <pre><p>Oh, now I get it.</p></pre>LosAngelesFun: <pre><p>This is the real LPT</p></pre>williambueti: <pre><p>Game recognize game, op. </p></pre>wtph: <pre><p>OP&#39;s comment is always in the LPT.</p></pre>Ticknhomas: <pre><p>Rachel Rosing?</p></pre>jakx102: <pre><p>OP admits defeat? Do we still need our pitchforks?</p></pre>PMmeyour_hoo_haa: <pre><p>Remember to put a sock on the bullets</p></pre>surprisebootsocks: <pre><p>Even if they don&#39;t have a gun, I wouldn&#39;t trust myself to fight off one or more criminals armed with just a bat. Unless you live in a kids&#39; movie it&#39;s not like you just knock them on the head and they instantly go unconscious.</p></pre>42undead2: <pre><p>If you&#39;re in America, sure. But most other places, they might just use melee weapons if they have a weapon at all.</p></pre>CaptainHadley: <pre><p>Which is still a great time for a gun. I ain&#39;t messing around with fair fights.</p></pre>Amps4Ohms: <pre><p>The best place to be in a knife fight is behind a brick wall with a gun. </p></pre>KEVLAR60442: <pre><p>As my self defense trainer said: &#34;What do you call a knife fight between two masters? Two dead masters.&#34;</p></pre>Undefined000: <pre><p>Nah bro, bad guys in Mexico have guns too.</p></pre>TangoHotel04: <pre><p>Never bring a bat to a gun fight.</p></pre>justsaying0999: <pre><p>Shit Americans say.</p></pre>internet_is_dead: <pre><p><a href="http://www4.pictures.stylebistro.com/mp/bLhPOQDeKTRl.jpg">I&#39;m not understanding</a></p></pre>Tyler1349: <pre><p>Put a sock over my gun </p></pre>LosAngelesFun: <pre><p>I usually only use my gun socks when traveling. Otherwise it takes more time to shoot </p></pre>MannyTostado18: <pre><p>Yes. When he grabs the bat he&#39;ll be surprised to find only a sock in his hand. Then I&#39;ll knock him out and put the same sock in his mouth and take him downstairs...</p></pre>Tacocatx2: <pre><p>The sock will slide off and he won&#39;t get a good grip on the bat?</p></pre>TangoHotel04: <pre><p>No. Likely the intruder has lost one sock in the dryer and is looking to steal a single sock to complete his/her pair. Placing the sock on the end of the bat insures you can give them a sock while maintaining a safe distance. </p></pre>danah2014: <pre><p>&#34;Wait, intruder. I need to sock up my bat&#34;</p></pre>AlcoholicWombat: <pre><p>Follow up LPT if you keep a bat in your car for self defense keep a glove and ball in there too. Your lawyer will thank you </p></pre>2monkeysandafootball: <pre><p>A bat is useless in close quarter combat. Get a pump shot gun and non-lethal OR lethal rounds. The sound of racking a pump is universal and frightening as fuck. EDIT: OP didn&#39;t seem keen on deadly force. I forgot about you gung-ho fuckers that so think you would kill someone.</p></pre>Nugduds: <pre><p>Get a pump shotgun and lethal rounds because anything less than lethal would mean you dont fear for your life and are in for a long lawsuit against you.</p></pre>martianwhale: <pre><p>Get a Semi-Auto Shotgun loaded with 00 buck because you shouldn&#39;t have broke into my fucking house.</p></pre>toohigh4anal: <pre><p>Prefer pump just because of the sounds and less likely to jam</p></pre>Techwood111: <pre><p>Home defense? From what I&#39;ve been told, target loads are what you want. Lethal as hell at pb or close ranges, yet much less chance of killing a nearby occupant or neighbor.</p></pre>SoSaysCory: <pre><p>I have ten shells of 00 buck sitting ready specifically for home defense. Should probably have more, but unless 11+ people.break in I feel like I&#39;ll be alright.</p></pre>BucketDummy: <pre><p>Because you dont point a gun at anything you dont intend on killing.</p> <p>They could load nonlethal if they wanted to but better treat it as if pulling the trigger would kill that person.</p> <p>I can just see someone running away, taking a bean bag to the back of the skull and now homeowner gets manslaughter because the shooting wasnt justified.</p></pre>2monkeysandafootball: <pre><p>If they&#39;re running away, they&#39;re not a threat.</p></pre>geekometer96: <pre><blockquote> <p>If they&#39;re running away, they&#39;re not a threat. </p> </blockquote> <p>Too many people don&#39;t understand this. As someone who enjoys shooting firearms recreationally, I hear way too often that they don&#39;t understand why you can&#39;t shoot someone in the leg to &#34;scare them away&#34; or why you can&#39;t shoot them if they are running away. </p> <p>The only time you should ever pull the trigger is if you are in fear of your life and you are prepared to neutralize the threat. If you are not in fear of your life, do not fire, including if they are running.</p></pre>DontRadicalizeMeBro: <pre><p>But what if they took my pizzarolls?</p></pre>geekometer96: <pre><p>The painful burning in their mouth will be enough to knock them out. Those shits are HOT.</p></pre>Judoka229: <pre><p>If you let them get close enough to take your pizza rolls, you didn&#39;t deserve those pizza rolls in the first place.</p></pre>RatherTall: <pre><p>Jfc America is weird.</p> <p>&#34;I need lethal rounds because if I shoot an intruder and they live, they&#39;ll sue me.&#34;</p></pre>BatmanBinBatman: <pre><p>depends where you live. In many states if you shoot the intruder in the front it&#39;s OK ;) </p></pre>noncongruent: <pre><p>If you are wearing certain uniforms it&#39;s even ok to shoot them in the back, too!</p></pre>Insomnia5o5: <pre><p>Like a schoolgirl uniform!</p></pre>TrickierAtomLiv: <pre><p>Oh my...</p></pre>karmagirl314: <pre><p>I mean- yes? If you&#39;re a school girl you&#39;re much more likely to get off easily no matter how you kill the intruder. </p></pre>ScornedSquirrel: <pre><p>My coworker buddy lived alone, came home in the middle of the day, heard intruders hiding in the closet, got his shot gun ready and shouted &#34;Who is that&#34; and &#34;come out of the closet&#34; and the intruders threw the closet door open and lunged at him. </p> <p>Shot his sister&#39;s thumb off, blew a huge hole in her best friend leg, but thankfully didn&#39;t cripple her for life. </p> <p>They were skipping school. Fucking deserved it, right?</p> <p>In my personal life, with the people I have known, there has been 1 friend who avoided being robbed by showing a gun in Nicaragua, one girl who was grievously injured by a bullet shot at her boyfriend while she was in the car with him, 1 friend who&#39;s 2 10-yr-old childhood friends both died in an accident-suicide incident, and the guy mentioned above. I&#39;m not anti-gun, but I am leery of a lot of the gun-blazing-self-defense shit I hear.</p> <p>I own a 9mm and a 12 gauge. I have kept them in my largely inaccessible attic since my kid was 3, with the ammo hidden. </p></pre>bjorn2bwild: <pre><p>Did he announce he had a gun? Why didn&#39;t the kids just say, hey we&#39;re not home invaders but just playing hookie? </p></pre>ScornedSquirrel: <pre><p>They were trying to scare the brother as a huge joke.</p> <p>In his telling of the story I don&#39;t recall that he yelled that he had a gun.</p></pre>koomapotilas: <pre><p>Better put them in a locked container. The kid will go treasure hunting on the attic sooner or later.</p></pre>ScornedSquirrel: <pre><p>The only access to the attic is a hatch in the ceiling of the closet in my bedroom, which requires a ladder from the shed in the back yard to get to. So far, at 10, my daughter has never been home alone. Eventually we will have to do something more secure.</p></pre>theth1rdchild: <pre><p>Right? Everyone thinks they&#39;re Action Man, when the reality is that there are very few circumstances when a tool to immediately remove human life is a good thing to have around.</p> <p>My stuff ain&#39;t worth it, I have renter&#39;s insurance. If I fear for my for my family&#39;s safety, we&#39;re running. I&#39;m not a criminal so I&#39;m not going to think as quick as one in a tense situation. I also have more than enough hearing damage already.</p></pre>E_Sex: <pre><p>Even if you don&#39;t have intent to kill, are you not allowed to still defend yourself from an intruder?</p></pre>manycactus: <pre><p>How does one&#39;s selection of ammo prior to the event say anything about one&#39;s state of mind during the event?</p></pre>followupquestion: <pre><p>Buy rounds that say _____ Defense on the box. Make sure they&#39;re frangible or fragmenting rounds and shoot center mass. That shows a mindset of removing an immediate threat without endangering neighbors or other occupants. </p></pre>dubs2112: <pre><p>Not if you choke up on it. </p></pre>reoost: <pre><p>But then where will I keep my socks?</p></pre>dirtbagwonderworld: <pre><p>Non lethal rounds inside of typical house spaces would kill. The wad could even kill them. Just use 00 buck through a 18.5&#34;barrel. </p></pre>stinkycrow666: <pre><p>Racking the pump as deterrent is dumb, it lets them know exactly where you are and exactly what you have. There was a police report in my state about a year ago where guy closed his bedroom door and pumped his (probably empty) shotgun and heard the same sound on the other side of the door</p></pre>2monkeysandafootball: <pre><p>Can&#39;t disagree with that. But again, this is close quarters, so they&#39;ll probably know where you are anyway.</p></pre>crazywinterr: <pre><p>Or I could cut some corners and just play audio of the racking sound and still use a bat. They will never see it coming.</p></pre>FuckYouLetsFight: <pre><p>What the fuck kind of idiot is going to use non lethal rounds? Sounds fucking stupid as shit. </p></pre>2monkeysandafootball: <pre><p>Same kind of idiot that thinks they&#39;re going to swing a bat in a hallway, doorway, or close quarters period.</p></pre>windstrider13: <pre><p>Pro tip: you don&#39;t have to swing a bat like a baseball player for it to be used as a weapon. </p></pre>2monkeysandafootball: <pre><p>What are most people going to do with it, unless they&#39;ve had some self defense training?</p></pre>windstrider13: <pre><p>Shorten your grip on it and punch forward. There&#39;s a reason why clubs are one of the most common weapons. </p></pre>Sinai: <pre><p>Stick them with the pointy end?</p> <p>Oh, wait.</p></pre>PinkTrench: <pre><p>A thrust forward with a good grip is better than a punch with a loaded fist if your form&#39;s good. </p></pre>E_Sex: <pre><p>Overhead swing.</p></pre>avondalian: <pre><p>You can get a bat for like 5 bucks though. </p></pre>Canadian_Infidel: <pre><p>In Canada you would go to prison for that because they would say that proves you planned to use it for defense which is illegal. If you killed them you at least &#34;might&#34; not. They get you for unsafe storage if you are able to access it when needed every single time though so in order to not die you will definitely need to accept you are going to jail for that no matter what. Good times.</p> <p>There was even a case where a man was tied up and intruders spent two days with torches cutting into his safe. He was charged and convicted of storage that was too easy for people to get into.</p></pre>2monkeysandafootball: <pre><p>But at least his medical charges were paid for.</p></pre>whathehellbro: <pre><p>Use the sock you jacked off to so its easier for it to cum off. </p></pre>TacoTuesdayFan: <pre><p>Pro Tip: Use a gun. </p></pre>Prodiggy_: <pre><p>But what if he came in to steal a sock?</p></pre>Fr3nchTickl3r: <pre><p>Then hold it upside down. That way the bat slips out and you still have your sock. Come on, try to keep up.</p></pre>FuckYouLetsFight: <pre><p>LMFAO buy a fucking shotgun </p></pre>swifchif: <pre><p>I don&#39;t understand how this would help.</p></pre>David_Bowiesson: <pre><p>In case the intruder only has one sock</p></pre>ThreshPrinceOfBot: <pre><p>If the intruder tries to grab your bat to take it from you, they will just pull the sock off and you get to keep the bat hopefully to follow up with a debilitating blow.</p></pre>jtoppings95: <pre><p>Ahhh i see</p></pre>mmmmpork: <pre><p>I made my gun into a sock puppet. There&#39;s nothing like putting on a puppet show to lull the home breaker into a false sense of security, then shooting them with Lamchop</p></pre>Lasercat1975: <pre><p>What if the intruder only wanted a sock? Problem solved and everyone is happy. </p></pre>Nevrmorr: <pre><p>Good general life advice. When in doubt about anything, just put a sock on it. </p></pre>TheAetherkings: <pre><p>I don&#39;t have a bat, just a sword, from Final Fantasy. </p> <p>I hope he grabs it. </p></pre>Jerg: <pre><p>Or substitute the bat for a katana. Kinda hard for an intruder to grab the sharp end of one without dicing their fingers off.</p></pre>EssenceLumin: <pre><p>How&#39;s the bat going to fly around with a sock on it?</p></pre>WebbieVanderquack: <pre><p>When you said &#34;bat&#34; I thought of the animal. And I thought &#34;that&#39;s a great idea, but why would the intruder grab a bat in a sock.&#34;</p></pre>LoveSignMasterSpark: <pre><p>Real LPT: Buy a gun. </p></pre>beverlyphills: <pre><p>To be honest: this does not sound like your regular <strong>Los Angeles Fun</strong></p></pre>beleca: <pre><p>Who are all these people in this thread saying you couldn&#39;t fuck up a home intruder with a bat? I could fucking kill someone with a bat pretty easily, and I&#39;m not a huge guy. I guess someone hears that in their self defense class somewhere, but a bat can kill or paralyze someone in one shot.</p></pre>gator426428: <pre><p>I&#39;m confused. Are we putting socks on bats. Would they go on the wing tips too? And how do you get them to hold still?</p></pre>saucercrab: <pre><p>This came from the <a href="/r/portland" rel="nofollow">/r/portland</a> thread about the crazy neighbor, didn&#39;t it? </p> <p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Portland/comments/6eznr9/is_there_something_in_the_water_apartment/dieexw6/" rel="nofollow">https://www.reddit.com/r/Portland/comments/6eznr9/is_there_something_in_the_water_apartment/dieexw6/</a></p></pre>Jaugust95: <pre><p>Someone ELI5??? Put a sock on how for what purpose?</p></pre>LosAngelesFun: <pre><p>You put a sock over the barrel of the bat where your hand isn&#39;t. Then when you hit the person they grab the barrel, but it&#39;s tougher to grab due to there being a sock that will slide off. </p></pre>Jaugust95: <pre><p>Thank you!</p></pre>VanBland: <pre><p>Why not just ditch the bat and get a butter sock?</p></pre>Metal-Phoenix: <pre><p>My bat is squeaking now. It doesn&#39;t hurt the bat does it? </p></pre>snizzo23: <pre><p>That&#39;s a great idea</p></pre>3sheetz: <pre><p>LPT: Keep multiple bats around the house</p></pre>No_Eyed_Dear: <pre><p>Instructions unclear, replaced dog with a bat in a sock. Keeps wanting to fly everywhere.</p></pre>jamesburton076: <pre><p>Is it supposed to trick them into thinking they can&#39;t come in because you are doing the devil&#39;s dance?</p></pre>Timbuktu1644: <pre><p>People tried to vandalize our house once and my dad used this technique quite well... needless to say that guy has one less functioning knee cap</p></pre>MaritimeRedditor: <pre><p>Y&#39;all mother fuckers need to be living in nicer neighborhoods.</p></pre>Hulkenstein3D: <pre><p>And if u use a sock but a bat in it.</p></pre>xxCyberpunk2077xx: <pre><p>I will shut that shit down!</p></pre>RandomFish1712: <pre><p>Will this work on a .45 ACP bat and a 9mm bat? </p></pre>familyandeducation: <pre><p>That actually is a good tip</p></pre>Boner_Patrol_007: <pre><p>I use a flanged mace instead of a bat. Good luck grabbing that shit.</p></pre>Tp2289: <pre><p>So instead of getting hit with a bat, I get hit with a bat with a sock on it. How the fuck did this make it to the front page?</p></pre>

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